It's Time to Talk (about Mental Health)
Embracing Courage: A Journey through Mental Health Challenges
It's time to break the silence and talk openly about mental health. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experience with mental health and parenting children who face similar challenges. By speaking our stories, we can overcome the isolating and confusing nature of these experiences. It takes courage, not necessarily in grand heroic acts, but in the day-to-day living, acknowledging our fears and overwhelm, and still moving forward with truth and love.
The Stigma and the Struggle:
However, speaking out about mental illness is not always easy. There is still a lingering stigma surrounding these issues. Personally, I have hesitated to discuss my own struggles or the obstacles my family has faced in accessing care. But the truth is, I have felt broken and traumatized. I have witnessed pain in my child—a pain so deep that it led them to contemplate suicide. It was an incredibly lonely journey, exacerbated by my own reactions and fears. I felt like giving up, as fear of losing my son consumed me.
Self-Blame and Acceptance:
At times, I blamed myself, believing that I had passed on the genetic gift of anxiety, dyslexia, ADHD, and depression to my child. I struggled to parent them the way I wanted, weighed down by various factors. This led me to shut down and succumb to shame, feeling inadequate as a parent. I longed for a perfect child, one who didn't face learning differences or mental health challenges.
Living with Anxiety and Depression:
Anxiety has always been a part of my life, an ever-present current running in the background. I try my best to confront and heal it, but it's an ongoing battle. A child psychologist once explained that anxiety convinces you that you can't do certain things, such as making friends, completing an essay, or even recording a podcast episode. It chips away at your self-perception and hampers your ability to live a fulfilling life. This leads to depression—the gap between who you believe you're capable of being and the reality of your current existence. Anxiety's grip can change how you view yourself and your capacity to navigate difficult moments.
Sharing Our Stories:
When discussing my own mental health journey, I also touch upon my children's experiences. It's a delicate balance, navigating what parts are mine to own and what belongs to my sons. I respect their autonomy in sharing their stories when they feel ready.
The Power of ACT:
Many of you are familiar with my passion for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT teaches us that our discomfort doesn't solely stem from painful experiences but from our resistance to the thoughts and emotions associated with them. It guides us to confront and accept our experiences, feelings, and thoughts, allowing us to stop overthinking and struggling against them. Stress and challenging emotions are inherent to the human condition, but we can learn to acknowledge and work through the underlying issues.
ACT offers four core principles:
Acceptance: Embrace your thoughts and feelings rather than fighting against them.
Present moment awareness: Focus on what is happening within you and around you in the present.
Self-as-context: Recognize that you are not defined by your thoughts and emotions; observe them as separate entities. For example, saying "I feel sad" instead of "I am sad."
Committed action: Take action aligned with your values to create a fulfilling life.
You Are Not Alone:
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out for support and walk alongside someone who understands. Therapy, spiritual guidance, and coaching all play significant roles in our individual stories. And when you're ready to share your story, your voice, we are here to listen.